This week thus far has been one helluva killer: but totally in a good way. I have never been more productive in my life, I like my day job (for once) because not only am I learning about the job, it is forcing me to learn things about MYSELF (things like, how much patience I actually have when put to the test and that’s just waiting for paperwork to be done).
Before I go on, you may want to check this out, my hubby is Bubble Based Boy, one of the dudes being featured here: https://soundcloud.com/kapitalradio/Kapital-09
Yes yes, shameless plug, but whatever. It’s my blog 🙂
Anyway, so back to what I was saying about this week. I’m astounded that it is now Wednesday, and that I’ve accomplished so much, and at the same time so little. Meaning, in MY weird head, it says that “Well, if you can do that much, then why couldn’t you have finished THAT much more?”
The answer is obviously, because I don’t want to kill myself.
But seeing things come into fruition, slowly sure, but still coming along is exciting and really, truly TERRIFYING. See, I can handle failure. We’ve all had it, we’ve all missed that beat during a big gig, we’ve all messed up a deadline, somehow, some way, we’ve all tasted that cold almost rusty taste of defeat.
But very, VERY few of us have tasted success. Yes of course, the definition of success is something subjective but in this case I mean like, an idea that has that potential of shooting all sorts of directions coz OH HOLY SH*T, it may and actually can WORK. I saw the possibility, the REAL possibility for a huge idea of mine to work. And can work in ways that when I first conceived it, the potential for it to work in all these different ways never occurred to me. It’s a fantastically giddy feeling, an anticipation, and then BOOM. Dread.
WHAT IF IT DID WORK HUH? What then? What the hell will I do? How will this change?
I like change and all, but yeah, it is still a change.
You may say, “chill out dude, this hasn’t even HAPPENED yet. Ride the wave and roll with the punches.” You’re right to say that, and really the rational part of my brain is saying: CHILL THE F*CK OUT MAN.
But it’s there. This little light glowing in a foggy distance. It is something I can wait to get to, the journey and the promise of its potential is far more exciting 🙂
Til the next…..